Step 1 and 2 of the 12 Steps

I'm into the 12 Steps for the first time. I read 2 of them already. I keep contemplating whether I should join OA and still can't make up my mind. I have reservations, maybe I'm just afraid to make another committment then another mistake and be a failure.

• Step 1 - Admit we're powerless over food and our lives are unmanageable.


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  Step 2 - There's a Power greater than ourselves who could restore us to sanity.

It's a spiritual program more than it's religious. Our acceptance at meetings leads to love, a power that stays with us as we leave the meetings. This shared love was a Power greater than ourselves and it could lead to sanity.

We choose a sponsor - someone we feel a kinship with or in whom we see recovery. Through our sponosors we see that love in a deeper way. We never have to be alone again. This relationship was a Higher Power in which we could believe.

What do I need from a Higher Power, let me say God? What would I like God to be and do in my life? I know that God loves me already. He will help us in everything we do, every decision we make and even the food choices and amounts. Is that really true? Our prayers haven't been answered because we were really asking God to remove our fat and allow us to go on eating whatever we want whenever we want. We need to learn to ask others for help and let God speak through them.

In OA, God's healing power comes to us through a caring community of other compulsive overeaters. We weren't meant to face this disease alone in isolation. We're meant to open up so we might learn to truly love others.

God couldn't help us with this. This negative concept we have to change if we're to find recovery.

The willingness to act on FAITH is the key to Step 2. We obtain a new faith in ourselves, in others, and in the power of that love and develop a new relationship with God and ready to move forward with recovery.

If I join OA I'll have to make a commitment to stop doing what I'm doing now. Is that what I want? I think so. Where else can I go with my failures? I tried SP, still doing my thing there. Have met lots of wonderful people there and I'm even on an OA team. Something is lacking there but I can't explain what it is. Maybe I do need a sponsor, someone who can help me understand what's going on with me. I know I can't do this alone any more. I want to get on with my life I have so much to do and time won't last forever. I'm not getting any younger.

The last question for today is: Am I going to join OA or not?